Me: Well what do I do, now??
God: Pick up your cross, and follow me. I got this.
Me: I will…if you give me a sign.
God: Burning bush?
Me: I do kinda dislike these boxwoods. But don’t burn the crepe myrtle.
God: The crepe myrtle is in the middle of the boxwoods. How about neon?
Me: Neon was cool twenty years ago, not so much now, though, unless it’s in Vegas.
God: So what do you want from me?
Me: Just a sign!
I’m sure I frustrate The Lord. I’m not a very good listener, and I’m never quiet for very long.
I take “ask and you shall receive” quite literally, always asking for much more than my portion. I am selfish and egocentric, impatient and stubborn.
Picture a three year old in Wal Mart. Carted by the candy aisle. Whisked away from the toy department. Snacking on (stolen) grapes. Wiping boogers on a stranger’s shirt. You get the gist.
There have been a few (hundred) times, that I’ve asked (begged) God to open doors. I’ve asked impatiently, and without an ounce of reverence. I tried to kick down the doors when I didn’t get my way.
I’ve mastered the art of throwing a little southern girl hissy fit. But true to form, God never takes my suggestions.
The devil never stands up, waving his pitchfork, smelling of smoke, revealing who he really is. He shows up in a pretty package with a bow on top smelling like the flavor of the week.
Satan worms his way into my mind, because he knows self doubt is my kryptonite. He opens doors as fast as God can slam them shut. Whatever I ask, the devil seemingly fulfills.
In the aftermath, my heart is shredded, my pride is stripped, and I wither. The devil just slithers away, laughing and taunting, but alone.
I eventually chill, get all contrite, and thank God for not being a pushover. I ask for a do-over.
The Lord pulls be back from the precipice of disaster, every time. He straightens my path, but then I jump the curb.
I call myself praying, asking Him to answer. When He does provide, I ask why. He tells me to just pick up my cross, be quiet and follow.
And I promise to do so, if only He’d give me a sign.
Be blessed, Y’all.
~ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” ~